Mumma! But she also tore my comic.
I will hit him. He has slapped me……
And they will go on until you are almost mad but the surprise of the surprise…soon- you may find them sharing an ice-cream with the best of the smile.
Yes, they are typical examples of the siblings.
Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.
The rivalry is perfectly normal in any close relationship. Yes, it is frustrating for the parents to have to solve their never-ending fights with each other. However, the parents’ role starts from here only. They are required to solve this perennial problem not only to maintain family peace but to keep the children learning positive traits as they grow.
Why do they fight?
· There can be seemingly infinite, irrelevant reasons but the basic one is their being attention-seekers. They have to be the first one to grab their parents’ focus and of the people around them. They want to grab all the love of their parents and not letting it be shared by their siblings.
· There is always a keen sense of competition among them in everything they do or have. It is a very healthy feeling and makes them try their best in whatever they do, be it academics; pursuance of the hobbies; playing games and sports, or participation in the co-curricular activities.
Some Important factors
Gender- Siblings of the same sex are likely to have common interests but more bickering.
The difference in age- It is a simple principle-Less the age-gap, more the fights; more the age-gap less will be the fights because of mutual affection, love, and respect.
Security Consciousness- All the children need a secure atmosphere but middle children have more of this feeling, as compared to elder or younger children. They fight to have a feeling of more security.
Age factors- This feeling of sibling rivalry reduces with age as the children gain maturity and go towards adulthood. It is most prevalent between the ages of 10 to 15 years old.
10 Important tips for the parents
As mentioned above, sibling rival is healthy and perfectly normal. However, parents can take the following steps not to let the situation go out of their hands.
1. No comparisons- This is the biggest mistake committed by the parents of comparing one child with his or her sibling. He or she has got these grades, what are you doing? Look at his/ her dance. Why can’t you do it like this?
Parents compare them to inspire a feeling of competition but instead of it, generate a sense of jealousy, bickering, and frustration.
2. Realize that it is momentary- The children’s fights are very short-lived, momentary, and for negligible reasons. However, the moment parents jump in, it gets fuelled up and stays for a longer duration. If one child feels that he or she is being discriminated against then the seeds of discontent germinate easily.
3. Each child is unique- If one child is a good cricketer, his brother or sister may have talent in music. Parents need to recognize this unique individual feature of each of their children and should nurture this to make them excel in it. Please remember, each child is good, he or she has to be made better so that they become the best. Their individuality has to be respected and given due importance. They may have been cut from the same cloth but still have their individual preferences and choices. This has to be respected even for selecting such small things as gifts for them
4. Basic discipline is a must- Everything is fine till they do not cross the limits of basic discipline. This is common and applicable to all the children. The magical words like “Thank you”, “Please”, “I am sorry’; “Excuse me”; “You are welcome” need to be used by all the children among each other and with everybody. Basic manners and etiquette need to be learned and practiced by all children.
5. Give them your ear- Let each one of them feel about getting a proper hearing. Remember, parents, are required to have patience. Listen to their grievance, howsoever, childish it may be. Believe me, only giving them your ear properly, will solve half the problems.
6. You love them but show it as well- Love and care are the positive feelings. As mentioned children are attention seekers. The moment they get your affection they are satiated and filled with positive feelings. This helps reduce animosity and creates sibling love. Moreover, good parental behavior encourages them to spread this with their siblings.
7. Teach them responsibility- It is a good practice to keep giving and adding the responsibilities as the children grow older. This will keep them away from fighting each other and also develop a sense of cooperation among them.
8. Don’t discriminate- Treat all your children equally. Rules cannot and should not be different for one child from others. Give the same kind of education, privileges, dresses, facilities, etc. Any discrimination will set the bad blood among them. Be impartial. If two children are fighting, both have to be punished and counseled.
9. Distract them- They are fighting, not listening to you. You don’t need to shout. Just involve them in an activity like storytelling/ painting, games, etc. As mentioned earlier, the reasons for their fights are very small. They will soon forget as they get busy. Moreover, it will cater to their creativity.
10. Pep up their confidence- They are small. Sometimes, they may be feeling low. Be supportive of the child. His or her siblings will soon understand and follow your behavior.
Conclusion
There is nothing to worry if the children fight. Care should be taken for it not to turn physical. Parental understanding, love, and care will make them like, appreciate, and have tender feelings for each other. In fact, it will lay a solid foundation for their future lives.
#SiblingRivalry # WhyDoSiblingsFight #ParentalTipsForAvoidingSiblingRivalry #HowToControlSiblingRivalry
The author has been inspired by the following website-
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/sibling-rivalry/art-20046568
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