So, you think that your child has changed suddenly. The author has written another post titled "Is it difficult to be the parent of an adolescent?" in this space earlier. It will be worthwhile to take up a case study, first.
Case-It is about a boy, John. His parents are Henry and Martha. Henry is a successful Executive, a go-getter, known for his dynamism. He cannot tolerate even small shortcomings. John was good at studies and played cricket regularly. Having reached adolescence, he had been facing the changes associated with puberty. Somehow, he could not score good marks in one test even after working hard. This infuriated Henry who felt that efforts did not mean anything, if not translated into good marks. He punished John by stopping his cricket activity. Martha resisted and explained about John’s efforts. She also said that outdoor activity was good for John and multi-tasking would only help him in the long run but Henry did not agree. It led to the arguments between them and John’s frustration increased. His grades deteriorated even further.
Analysis- study suggested
that Henry’s behavior was unreasonable. He should have supported John by spending time
with him, and not stopped his cricket activity. Instead of arguments with Martha, he should have been more friendly with john and helped him in his studies. This would have improved the situation in the best possible manner.
This case study brings us to 10 simple tips for the parents of such adolescents.
What do they need to
know and do?
1. No need to panic- Puberty
is a normal change in the body of their children. You have gone through these
changes in that age. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. Your disturbance will add to their problems. Compose yourself. Let there be no arguments about it so as to aggravate the
situation.
2. Support them- Be their friend whole-heartedly. Be a rock of Gibraltar for them during their difficult times.
3. Talk openly-
Explain clearly about the onset of puberty
to your children. This will prepare them properly to welcome these changes.
4. Spend
quality time with them- Spending time with them does not mean silently watching a movie or serial on the television, sitting together. It has to be quality time. Listen to them carefully. Talk to them about their day, friends, activities, sports, games, problems, achievements, teachers or whatever interests them. However, don’t be a judgmental or rude critic.
5. Balance is important in life- Who else can teach them this? They should emulate you to maintain a healthy balance in life. Their activities should include a healthy diet, sleep; exercise, outdoor games, and studies. It should be interspersed with dollops of entertainment. The important point for them is to exercise a happy balance of all these.
6. Encourage
children for expressing their individuality- Parents must not exercise too tight control over their children, especially during this age. Keep a watch on them
against falling into any kind of negative activity like alcohol, drugs, or any
kind of self-harm. They should also be free to express their opinions.
7. Let them be happy- Just take care for their faces to radiate happiness all the time. A smiling child is able to face difficulties easily. Take them out on excursion from time to time. It will be a
good change for them.
8. Be
their mentor, friend, philosopher, and guide- Don't impose your parenthood on them but be a facilitator, a mentor, friend, philosopher, and guide to your children. Give them instant practical advice but if and when they ask. Imposition or undue rigidity will be resisted
by them and lead to bad behavior. let them feel free to interact with you on any
topic.
9. Give
them space-
They need some space in this age. Meddling too much in their affairs
is simply no-no.
10.Check up about their friends- However, you need to act as a vigilant parent also at times. Keep a check on
their activities, circle of friends, behavior, and manners.
If these major points are kept in mind
by the parents, there is no reason why their adolescent children will not be
able to get through these years smoothly.
Takeaways
Don't be a father like Henry to your children. Be understanding one like Martha. Following these simple tips, will make you a good, friendly parent, the one that your child will be proud of.
The following websites may be referred for a more detailed analysis of the subject.
https://www.google.com/searchsource=hp&ei=KDnOXrCtK8fA3LUPp9606A8&q=puberty+wikipedia&oq=Puberty+Wikipe&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQARgAMgIIADIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjoICAAQFhAKEB5QD1j5TW
https://www.mentalhelp.net/parenting/mental-emotional-social-changes-through-puberty/
https://www.mentalhelp.net/parenting/11-to-14/
#ParentsOfAdolescents #TipsForParentsOFAdolescents #HowToBehaveWithAdolescents
The author R. C. Verma has given details for parenting of adolescent children in this article. Kindly post your critical comments in the comment box or mail vermarajesh55@gmail.com
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